Carry On Friends: The Caribbean American Experience

Audience Sound Off: To Compete or Not Compete

January 23, 2024 Kerry-Ann Reid-Brown Season 2024 Episode 223
Carry On Friends: The Caribbean American Experience
Audience Sound Off: To Compete or Not Compete
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As a follow up to our previous episode, Reframing Competition and Collaborative Success - in this episode you'll hear from some members of the audience and their perspectives on competition. 

The episode unwraps the complex emotions that come with competing. You'll hear voices that consider competition an unnerving pressure, preferring to concentrate on their personal paths. On the flip side, you'll hear from individuals for whom competition serves as a powerful motivator, propelling them toward personal benchmarks and professional triumphs. .

How do you feel about competing/competion?

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Speaker 1:

Everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Carry On Friends the Caribbean American Experience. On the last episode of the podcast, I was with my friends Makayla and Chris and we were talking about competing and collaboration. In this episode, you are going to hear from audience members their different perspectives on competing. I asked different people to give me their perspectives on competing. I asked them follow-up questions and got some interesting responses. You may have very strong reactions to some of their responses, but what I found interesting was, in addition to the common threads that you'd hear with some of the speakers, what came through was your view of competition.

Speaker 1:

Competing varies depending on your age, where you are in life and your current circumstances, and your view might evolve or change depending on where you are right now in life, and so I'd love to hear your reaction to the comments and the opinions here, or whether you agree or disagree. Whatever it is, sound off, talk your mind. You could DM or send an email. Hello at Carry On Friends. So let's kick it off. What comes to mind when you hear the word compete or competition?

Speaker 2:

So the word compete, competition is both negative and positive to me, because I do believe that everybody should run their own race at their own pace. So competing with others might be negative, but then again, sometimes in life you have to have competition to take you out of your comfort zone, to push you to the next level. So sometimes that word is it depends on where I'm at in my life. So right now in my life, at this present moment, it is of negative because I'm kind of running the race myself at my own pace, doing what is best for me, and really not looking beside me, behind me. My only focus is in front of me, so I'm not competing.

Speaker 2:

I don't want nobody to tell me the words compete, competition, that's just not where I'm at. Maybe later on I'm going to feel like, oh, it's positive, because then it pushed me outside of my comfort zone and it makes me rise up on top when I see that somebody is right beside me pushed me to move forward. Or I look behind and I see somebody catching up with me that I know was coming from so far and should be so close to me and I should have been further. But that's really what I feel about the word compete or competition at this point. I don't know if it has to do with my age, but I just feel like where I'm at in my life right now it's kind of negative. I'm just running the race at my own pace, doing what I feel like I want to do when I want to do it. So I do not want anybody to say the word compete, competition to me. So that's what I feel.

Speaker 3:

I'm a highly competitive person. So I have a whole you know, as like many of us will have a whole different perspective. For me it's more of a positive perspective than it is negative. I think competition and competing gets a negative connotation from people's own personal traumas and lack of six quote unquote success in whatever it is they wanted to do with themselves. So it's a trauma response to me when I hear people look at competition in a negative sense. That doesn't mean that there isn't negative competition.

Speaker 4:

I do not compete with people generally and I don't like people competing with me. It doesn't make me feel nice. Maybe I do in some way, and I don't know. You do, you, I do?

Speaker 5:

me and I really respect people's differences and I just don't say it necessary to be competing.

Speaker 6:

So when I think of the word compete or competition, the first thing that comes to mind is that I am going for something or there's a common goal in mind for me to win something and I have to outbeat my opponents.

Speaker 6:

It's more so. It comes in more of a game form in my mind it's that I'm working, I'm conditioning whether it's my mind or my body, in order to beat out my opponents who are also in competition with me. My personal feelings towards it. I'm not a huge fan of it. I used to be, maybe, when I was younger, but as I got older I realized that sometimes, putting yourself in a position of mindset of I'm going to be competing against others, it almost makes you forget certain values and morals that are also important to you, and it almost seems as though in order to win at certain things, you have to be willing to compromise those morals and those values not in all cases, but in some scenarios. So I think as you get older, you realize that, and I think the idea of winning becomes less important and more so the idea of learning from failures become even more important.

Speaker 4:

My personal feeling about competition is that sometimes I think it's taken too seriously and it gives the impression that one person is better than another person overall, but the reality is it may be in just this one area, in this one time, in this one moment, someone was better than another, but it doesn't have to define you and I think sometimes people allow that. As long as it's done healthy, in a healthy way, in a healthy manner, I'm all for it. Competition is just something I think as a part of life, but it's how we perceive it and think about it that is important.

Speaker 7:

I like competing. It brings out the best in me and it also forces me to dig deeper in the survival box. I'm always never afraid of going. If I wasn't put in that position to be a part of competing, I'm not gonna think not the wrong way, you know, because I've always viewed myself as a confident person. So competing is not a hindrance to my mindset. You get what I'm saying.

Speaker 7:

So I'm going to always give my best in whatsoever it is I am putting my mindset to, and if I'm going to face some form of resistance from somebody else, then I'm going to put in 150%, because it is also telling me something about myself too, that failure is not an option, and I'm not disturbed by competing in order to achieve what I want to achieve in life generally. So, for example, if there is a particular woman that I like and I have to compete to get her, I am going to win. It's that simple. The competition is going to be all the way turned up from my aspect, and competing for her is going to be turned up from my aspect. So it is with every or anything with me. I am not shy or scared of that.

Speaker 5:

The first thing that comes to mind winning. If you're competing, you must be in it to win it. That's what comes to mind and that's how I feel about being in a competition or being competitive. The end goal is winning, and the lesson is perseverance.

Speaker 3:

Also, when I hear competing competition, I think of growth, I think of innovation. I also see the negative side Copycatting, subpar products, subpar opportunities, scams and stuff like that. I love competition To me. I wake up in the morning. I compete against myself. I'm always trying to make myself better and I'm always like, hey, you could have done better. You know you're better than this.

Speaker 3:

I compete against time. Might be a little crazy to some people hearing this, but I'm always competing because we are in competition with time. Nobody's guaranteed to wake up tomorrow. How do I maximize it against the opponent? I will never beat. Maybe this is my arrogance, maybe it's me or my ego.

Speaker 3:

I also have an attitude of who do you think you are to stop me from getting what's my piece of this pot? I always look at it like well, there's always a weakness, there's always something that can be done better. There's always something, no matter how great Michael Jordan is, as great as he was In the mythology glad I grew up in the era because I got to see it firsthand. There was weaknesses in this game. Those people who stepped up it took that as a competition. When Alan Iverson crossed them he said he cried about it, but he told Mike. He was like yo, I belong here. You stepped in front of me and you're my idol, but I'm going to cross you because I'm not going to allow you to stop me and stop the work that I did, or my goals, from happening For me.

Speaker 3:

That's what it also means is here's an obstacle and I have to go either go around you, under you, above you or through you. I think that's what a negative connotation to comes up, because when people hear you talk like that, they're like oh my God, you're ruining it. And that's not true. Not everybody's willing to do really evil or bad things to other people in the spirit of competition. There are guidelines and boundaries to it. There are moral or ethical guidelines that people, both personally and within their industry, will follow. Now some people will go above and beyond and when by any means necessary. But everything has its consequences.

Speaker 1:

Is there ever a world where we don't compete or we're in competition?

Speaker 6:

Unfortunately, I don't think we live in a world where it's possible not to compete, I should say because we're always going to be pit against another person for either one slot or a few designated slots or whatever. But I do think as an individual, we can reframe how we look at the word competing or competition and focus more on what makes you unique or what makes what you bring to the table unique, and not necessarily worrying about what the competition is doing. Too much, I think we focus too much on what the competition is doing versus on what makes you you, what highlights the benefits and value that you bring. So I think if we sort of reframe the way we look at competition, it might not necessarily look like competition, it just would look like you showing what you bring to the table.

Speaker 5:

But competition is very necessary to drive each other, to push each other to discover our own greatness, give the reason to fight for something, a goal to go after. It's very necessary to keep ambitions at the forefront of your mind as you go through this journey of life, and I think it's instinctive and ingrained in us to compete. At some level.

Speaker 5:

You can consciously choose not to compete and there are certain instances in life where my life where I've chosen not to compete, which is perfectly fine, but that's a conscious decision, because maybe you just don't feel like you're in the same category with the people that are on you and it's not worthy of your time and energy and effort and that situation. I choose not to compete.

Speaker 4:

Okay and I think a lot of competitors at the top of their game will tell you the same thing is that they're in a competition with themselves to be do their best In what they do not against To the public, and in the competition they are competing against someone, but in reality they are competing with themselves to bring their best to the table. So it's not, I'm better than that person. I did better than I did the previous time.

Speaker 3:

I did this. There are levels to competition and some people can, some people can stop. You know they can see where it's going and say, okay, this is not healthy. I love people who are just completely toxic with it. And I think it's important for you to know who you are as a person and understand and Also, especially doing a business, that competitive spirit can bother being self-destructive.

Speaker 3:

I think competition also creates opportunities for collaboration. It creates opportunities for Industries to grow through collaboration and then when you go out there and you seek those collaborations and those partnerships, my competitive spirit if I didn't check it, I would you know. Or if I didn't decide to say Collaboration is more beneficial for my business than competing, I would have went out there, put myself out there and I would have probably failed Misery, especially somebody who doesn't know what they're doing. Um, and so I've taken that lesson and I'm Stretched across the board. So, but do I still compete? Yes, I still compete with them because I have a certain vision. They have a certain vision.

Speaker 3:

Sometimes, you know, you're like, well, you don't get it right over here by this time I'm thinking about doing it myself. So like is it? Is it something that is beneficial to the greater good, or those or your, or your product or service or your community or whatever it is you're doing. Is it really better, right? You know we hear about people talking about Apple. Well, look, sam, some piece with Apple, but also Sam, some provides parts to Apple. Right? Competition brings opportunities for collaboration and innovation and stuff like that. And again I'm gonna go back to it if there is no competition or nobody in the space is competitive, it's gonna bring laziness, it's gonna be complacency, it's gonna break, it's gonna stagnate, it's not gonna be an innovation of creative ideas, it's not gonna be any of that. Those human factors that we do that and grandest as a human Want to be better, do better.

Speaker 1:

Do you think people confuse competing with a jealousy or Competing equals jealousy? I don't necessarily.

Speaker 2:

Interlating competing equals Jealousy, and when I compete well, it's not that I'm jealous of the person, it's that I'm pushing myself to the next level. So I guess it depends on the person. I am more of a self-centered type of person. So if I'm competing with someone, it's not that I'm jealous of you or I want to be. It's more like me. Looking at myself, I'm like, oh, you're so great, you can be more. Not necessarily, oh, I'm jealous of that person. So now, when I think of competing, I don't think I'm jealous of the person at all.

Speaker 4:

I Think when people don't have the right mindset and respect for other people's abilities, jealousy can come into play. I don't think it's a Broad brush that could be put on everything and everyone who competes. I think that, you know, when people have the right mindset, it can be respect for their fellow competitors, but if they don't have that right mindset, I Think it becomes jealousy. I so I don't think people equate competition with jealousy. I think people who want the status could equate it with jealousy.

Speaker 7:

No, no, I don't think that. I don't think that at all. I think there are two different thing that if the person else are persons who don't understand that there is a difference, they are going to lump everything in one basket, which is not fear. You get what I'm saying, because I think that you have bad jealousy and I think that you have healthy jealousy. That's what I think. No, I wouldn't mix that with competition at all. There are different in every way possible.

Speaker 7:

You know, because, in good faith, when two teams are competing, they're not jealous of each other. Or when they're in a competition, or if they're in the finals and they are in that World Cup competition, competing for the World Cup, they're not in jealousy of each other. I don't believe that they're playing to see who is going to be the winner. That's a competition. And the day we shake, we hang and we go and we drink wine we're not the Pan-Le-Siem team but come on the day we play the game, we go to the party at the same club and we're good. I think people that confuse those feelings are somewhat not in understanding that they are different. You know what I'm saying. They're not in the understanding that they are different things and maybe that is the reason why they don't want to compete. But I think that most people who say they are not competing, it is a form of fear why they would say that because we compete every day. In general, you just had some indirect competitions and some direct competitions, but we compete every day.

Speaker 6:

Oh, I absolutely think jealousy is confused with competition. As a matter of fact, it actually drives it in certain instances and sometimes you don't even realize you're falling down, going down a rabbit hole of comparing yourself to others until you're deep in.

Speaker 6:

So I most definitely think they're almost like cousins in a sense, where it's very easy to confuse the two. And that's why I stressed on almost reframing how you're looking at the word competition, because if you focus on you and what your values are and your benefits are, on how you can make an impact in whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish and not necessarily worry about what other people are doing, I think you'll be competing, but it won't be in the traditional sense of what we think competing in competition is.

Speaker 3:

This was a good thing, because this really made me sit down and think and check myself about how do I view competition when I was at 46 years old, then when I was 22, 25, or 17, or even when I was like 40, or 42, right, there's so much that's changed since these past couple of years, but I think this was a really good project. I appreciate you doing this, carrie.

Speaker 1:

Well, there you have it. Thank you for listening to this episode of the podcast where the audience talks back. I hope to do more of this and I hope, when I send out the call via the newsletter, that you respond and maybe you get to share your opinion as well. So, thank you and until next time, walk good.

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The Role of Competition and Jealousy
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